Thursday, September 14, 2006

loan application results

3:00 pm, on my knees kneeling before my family alter,
holding jade and repeating my mantra;
"I am birthing myself right now.
held by the loving arms of my family,
I am supported."
I closed my eyes to concentrate on my goal-
prosperity, creativity, health, harmony, satisfaction.
I squeezed my eyes and sent whispers to my inevitable fate-
"I have room for success",
I whispered, and just like that, the phone rang...(actually, BOTH of my phones rang..)
At first I was so overwhelmed; all of this time waiting and hoping for a yes or no- something simple and clear, something profoundly obvious, and yet what I got was so different.

"Congratulations", Chris Rotler of Community Capital of Vermont said, but I wasn't sure what I was celebrating.
When Alanna and I began creating Kismet, we were very clear about our lack of resources. Alanna and I both have two children each and very limited incomes. Alanna has been the sole provider for her children, and my partner and I have been students up until this last year. Neither of us have ever applied for a loan, nor do we own anything significant. We have minor savings and neither of us has had a full-time job (besides parenting) for many years. Our families have been supporting us each in a number of ways for some time, so when we looked into financial resources, we decided not to ask too much of our families. This would be our own thing, OUR debt, OUR own risk.
So when Chris said that the committee is going to grant us $42,500 if we can get a co-signer to back 1/2 of it, I was excited (we were approved...well, sort of), then flooded with emotion.
I hung up the phone annoyed and frustrated, and went to tell Damian the "news".
"This is exactly what I didn't want," I told him, "I wanted a yes or no..."

In a fit of spontaneity and deep desire to own a restaurant, I went immediately to the phone and dialed my parents. Something a rarely do, emergency or not.
Unexpectedly dad was home (strange..) answered, and as soon as I told him the "news" he offered to co-sign. "Send me the papers." he said.
Deep breath.
An hour passes.

Get the laundry..
Go to the co-op.
Drink Prosecco.

Alanna calls (we agreed for me not to tell anyone until I told her- she was at a catering job), and I tell her the news...
Wow..its all starting to settle in...
we're going to open a restaurant this year..
well in November, actually...
Six weeks..
thanks mom and dad...
(my parents)

(and thank you Community Capital of Vermont!)

in the name of all things meant to be Kismet is born!