Thursday, September 30, 2010

time to turn in..

for the last month I have been sincerely focused and concentrated on an illusion. As the season changed, the heat floated away, and the air filled with the breath of transformation, I have been breathing this breath and attempting to harness it to the fantasies i yearn and strive to manifest.
This season, 4 years ago, Alanna and I moved into the space currently known as kismet. We worked long hours into the winter to clean and paint and prepare the space for an unknown future. Would our wee kismet make it? would we be able to satisfy our business's needs as well as the needs f our individual families? how would we be received? how long would it take to stabilize the business? Last year, this time, i discovered the answers to some of those questions. Alanna was ready to leave kismet, the space between us and the profit the business collected was too small for the both of us and our children. Knowing that if i wanted to see kismet stabilize and be able to to meet the demand of our now regular customers, I would have to move kismet into a larger space, closer to downtown, and extend our hours and services. Again, I found myself preparing bank applications and business plans, meeting with advisors and landlords, and pushing to find a home and resources for kismet to move downtown. When we were approved for our loan, I knew we could do it- i just still needed to find the perfect place.
2010 may just be the fastest year of my life- Winter sped by, and summer rushed in like a sun drenched over zealous backpacker fresh from morocco ready to take vermont by storm. I worked while realizing that the days and weeks were like drops of dew evaporating off of the pavement- like sugar dissolving on my tongue- just sweet and moist and there for a minute- then gone. And then- suddenly- I see that I am entering the transcendence of autumn-& with many of the same desires i had this time last year- only now with an even clearer vision and closer view.
I decided to focus in and get even a little closer- and challenge my own anxiety to become the fuel with which to power this machine that is here to transform and empower the being that is kismet.

At the same time, everything seems so ironic.

* years ago, I returned from new zealand. Wanting to work along side a chef in montpelier, I applied to connoscenti's italian restaurant (later to become restaurant phoebe). Dale wouldn't hire me, but did treat me to many fine meals that still influence my palate. Over the years, I have thought of his restaurant as being my ideal restaurant space, and have fantasized about creating a space like it. Now, 8 years later, I am holding the keys and the lease to that exact place…
guess it's time to get to work... xxoo