another day

I wish that there was enough time to articulate all that has happened today- I wanted to make sure that before i went to bed I (at least tried) to outline this day's flow... amazing. what an amazing day..

let's start with MORNING
.. morning came while i was still working in night mode. deliveries, dawn, rawness within me..
- slept in the dining room for an hour, and met the staff as they trickled in a few minutes later...
- dining room A MESS
- systems all in my head.. (not on paper... oops)
-no menu
- no tables
- no sleep...

time went by so fast.. noon... 2... 3... will we open on time...

or will we.?

well. we did.

see youwhen we see you, we are open now.. xxxooo

thinking of you

As millions across the country center themselves around one of the most notorious meals of the year, I stand alone in the new kismet kitchen and prepare food for what will become kismet's next era.

For the last 3 months, I have been completely consumed with this transition. My whole life, most of my thoughts, all of my relationships, and every moment has been about kismet, about the details of the new space, the new menus, new employees, new systems, and new responsibilities.. Being in it has been overwhelming, and I have watched myself go through layer after layer of emotion and internal reflection- Fear, anxiety, doubt, denial, distress, excitement, anticipation, confusion, frustration, elation, -- all of it has cycled through my veins.
Today Is the first and last quiet day here for a while- I have enough prep work for a full day for 5 people to do, but I am thankful to be in this space with myself. I havent cooked in so long! The pots and pans are out of the basement, cleaned, and yearning to be used, for the hands to be held, and the centers to be filled. I have food in the pantry and walk-in- a collection of assorted beets from allen up the road, 200 pounds of jim markle's potatoes, pork and poultry from art, a whole collection of greens, herbs, and leaves from all around central vermont. ahh... the smell of something fresh and alive- much different than the smell of paint, harsh chemical cleaners and glue...

so, if I get everything done... we will be open tomorrow night at 6pm for a little cocktail party... and YOU'RE INVITED...
then, saturday will be the premier of the all day kismet on main street movie.... hope to see you there. xxoo

ok.

the day started - i was well rested- but, man, it was cold as i walked my way down the block to kismet on barre st.. a walk i have done nearly every morning for the last 4+ years... i opened the restaurant with robert as i usually do on sunday mornings- this time aware that it would be a long time until i will feel as comfortable.. this space has become an extension of me, and is my home in any ways.. my children have been growing up here- i have grown up here.. but alas; the space is just too small, and it is time to move on.. am i sad? not really.. am i excited? sort of... but very much nostalgic and IN IT..
for the next three weeks, this space will undergo a transformation for SALT and i will be in my new space organizing and taking great measures to ready it for another series of years of BRUNCH..

deep breaths... remembering this space.. all that has happened here. the times alone, the times full, the times i just watched..
the beginning days of cleaning and building and painting- i was so lucky, esme jumping in whenever she could before VENUS and lindsay painting the name on the door, and damian's craft put to use, all of the folks who scrubbed and scoured and helped with joy and excitement.. alexis & raina were our first waitresses, and they have both since moved on- raina still watching and encouraging me, alexis also cheering kismet on, but also kismet cheers her on in her college studies.. they were both so young and it was all so different then. Alanna too has moved on, and i am thinking of her now too. thinking of us in this space in the first few years. we laughed and cried, and pained with each other. this space has been a place of growing and of working- to be and get to the places we all want to go.

thank you to all of you who have fill this space and my heart with joy- with encouragement- with pride- and with love. I have loved sharing this space and hope that our new space will be as loved as this has been.

i will walk around one more time, and say goodbye for now.. xxoo

oh wow...

FIrst we have to tear it all apart- THEN we can re-do it!
Work Party Today - and tonight too- 5-9!
bring a paint brush if you have one, gloves, and a scrub brush of your choice...
we'll provide the beer and some snacks- you provide the elbow grease!
xxoo

getting it done

kitchen walls-- step 2-


well, we pulled all the plastic stuff off of the kitchen walls and are plastering to make them smooth so we can have a nice washable surface...

there is LOTS to do still.. new ceiling, new floor, cleaning, cleaning, cleaning.. then we will be ready!
for this week-
WE WILL BE CLOSED WEDNESDAY AND THURSDAY ... but OPEN friday & saturday 8-2:30, and sunday 9-2.
our next WORK party is October 28th, xxoo

ouef

huff & puff…
that's what the winter winds threaten to do= blow your house down..
& at the same time, it is what we do when we are working hard to keep hour homes up right… huff and puff…
it's what i did as a child when i was scolded… all the way to my room, or the woods beyond my house… huff & puff..
it's what we do when we try to get a fire going.. when we pace our driveway to cary & stack wood…
it is often how we relate to our children-- they huff & puff when they are on the edge of conflict and surrender… it is a term we use with both lightness and sarcasm as well as a primitive descriptive term…

it is midnight, & im making oeuf et bouffée.. (huff & puffy)
for you.


well- for all of us really.

chicken & duck liver pate with garden herbs in puff pastry with wild mushroom duxelles and poached egg.
served with salad..
xxoo

october 1st... moving

last night I left kismet at midnight, after a long day of drowsy darkness and entered into the warmth of hurricane weather- 85 & windy… i felt that air- felt the energy in it- and all of a sudden realized that it was the last heat of summer blowing around and through me.. i left- sweaty from the kitchen oven- and drove out to the sandpit in east montpelier for an end of summer swim… i was shaking with cold when i got there- but also maybe shaking too from the anxiety of these last few weeks- and i dove in- ooh so cold at first- but then magnificently perfect and gentle and familiar all at once== exactly what i was needing… then it was raining, and 12:30 am- and i knew i had to get home to sleep for the day that was awaiting me.. summer is over, & sure enough- this day arrived at 6:30 am- and i woke to a room full of autumn; all cozy and warm and safe- and faced the obligatory duty of extracting myself from that cacoon so that i could be on time and present with all awaiting me.
this day brought croissants at birch grove bakery before 8 am..
this day brought the job of carrying my laptop from place to place, meeting to meeting..
this day brought 2 dozen phone calls i could not answer..
this day brought renovation plans, meetings, lawyers, chiropractics, rainy jaunts, paint samples, furniture moving, window covering, box collecting, box filling, box moving, and then= ended in the kitchen, cooking lasagna..
and tomorrow?
brunch on barre street, again, but for one of the last times…..