abunDANCE

abundace..
means
lots of very ripe tomatoes
rotting fruit and lots of empty mason jars
ideas overflowing \that when left for too long
or with too many commitments
overflow
like the maggots out of the compost..
tried to do too much today.
tried and tried
and screamed and cried..
customers who say thankyou
but wih worried eyes..
as if they are apologizing for my tired body that serves them.

i am not a machanic.
nor am i a machine.

i am an artist
trying to make good of
perfect potatoes
okra longer than ive ever seen it (even in mississippi)

but i am a lover too
needing love and needing to make love within still moments.

i tried to fix the espresso machine today.. tomorrow i will call a mechanic
and instead of yelling at the dishwasher i will
steal her away
and make her smile true

i want to tell everyone how thankful i am and
still how hard we are working to
do our best
be good
and thrive in this abundance
and complement eachother.
if you see me-
smile
and do good work.
feed hungry children
help a farmer
be open minded
love abundanty
but lets all help eachother to know when to surender to the
abundance
when to stop and be still
to let go of the fear that there wont be enough
to enjoy all that we have had
and to not wallow in what could have been.

i love kismet
really
the truth that all the hard work does not go forgotten.
that if we work hard we hill be given treats and favors.
i love seeing myself here-
but honestly i am still learning
and often i do not feel like i am enough.
tonight- after a very long week- i will go home and work on that.
and rise
to that
and meet you in that

abun
DANCE

slow and dreamy

slowing down to enjoy the end of summer-- yes it's true, it's the end of summer- and anticipating the nostalgia of autumn. bushels of corn by the back door- a case of green beans...lots of tomatoes and ... HOORAYYYYY---blueberries still!

these last few days at kismet have been slow and dreamy- sunny and cool in the morning and warm in the afternoon- and few customers.. we dont mind though- we've been chatting and catching up and looking at cookbooks and eating!!

today i am enjoying a bowl of black beans, simple, subtly spiced, and with just a bit of raw milk cheddar- yumm.

special today:

wanna join my club?

sandwich:

local free range chicken breast, organic local bacon (stuck in the fridge last night by art-our ham man), local tomato, local (get the idea?) greens, fresh local pesto, chevre (yes..local too!)- you know, all the good stuff- served on a toasted and layered artisan roll by la strata bakery.

local peaches

the fridges are full of local foods and i am more inspired than i have been in a while.. today; zucchini pancakes topped with poached eggs, house roasted cherry tomatoes and basil... tomorrow- walnut and raisin strata with Cinnamon and vanilla served with these especially fragrant peaches and vanilla scented cream... yumm..

peaches

middle of summer- still raining

we're back after having taken a week off-

and we've jumped right back into things- weddings, the end of summer vacation for our kids and the restaurant.. oh- and the green beans, zucchini, squash, tomatoes, potatoes, corn, broccoli, blueberries, blackberries, and all of the other little garden treasures flooding our kitchen right now. Today- still rain though- so we have fresh tomato soup with basil aioli and grilled cheese on olive focaccia, and polenta dishes piled high with the whole assortment of vegetables delivered from the local farmers.. we are doing all this- all of us- working, cooking, eating, going on and on trying to do our best but still aware of the coming seasons, the gas prices, the potential costs of sticking around here this winter.. it's been cloudy, the chickens are laying less, the melons just aren't ripening, and the lettuce greens have been beaten and blown and even though it's been a good berry year, few can really enjoy it when the cost of a pint is right around $5.00. We're here in that too- encouraging our farmers, making the most with what there is, and trying to manipulate the expenses so that everyone (even our customers) are able to profit even just a little. The calender urges us to celebrate the summer- keep the swimsuit nearby, the charcoal int he back of the care --just in case-, but around here we are all talking alot about the REAL COST of this year, this place (vermont), and our individual preparations to endure it all. In an effort to support our local economy and the health of our community, we are continuing to strengthen our commitment to source as much local food as we can-- it is LOCALVORE month by the way- and want to encourage you to think about things you could grow or forage that we may want to buy-- like micro greens (those baby broccoli, basil, and sage mixes are really good, and sunflower greens are really easy to grow), home-made jam, pickles (i love pickled carrots!, pickled beets etc..), potatoes, garlic, shallots (these are all really easy to grow around your yard and make nice easy lawn perimeters). Or maybe think about planting some peach or plum or apple trees, berry bushes or even grapes (we will buy what you have at market price).

ANYWAY..

i'm rambling and i have to get back in the kitchen. come see us soon- or send us your comments of ways we can serve you (or how you can help us serve you).

its been a while...

its been a while

since ive written...things just all started to happen so fast, and the heat of summer, and the rapid growth just, well... kind of overwhelmed us here..

lets see..

spring birthdays--both alanna's and mine, and moses too and so many others...then there are the baby spring greens that come in with such tender and earnest eagerness--they come in and sing to us "use me, use me, use me quick!!",and well, we do our best and try to be the instrument that the song of spring wants to come through..

and now, well, this message comes at 12:30 pm, with me just really returning from my first real vacation in 10 years and sitting with kismet and the first snap peas of the season (stuffed in the fridge in big bags next to the first brocolli) and looking for words to describe who, when, and why i am here= everything just comes together and at the same time, emphises how sepreate things are.. i guess owning and running a restuarant and being a member of montpelier's close community and being a single-mom and, well being me, can be kind of overwhelming.. but in the spring, and in the summer it doesnt seem so bad--it just kind of grows on me, like the wild grape leaves and the bright moss and like how the artimisia just stand so tall by everydoorway, we too just kind of get a bit stronger, more alive and wild and free....i like that--dont you?

this spring at kismet we have explored the new local cherries, we have miandered through the many flavors and depths of the cheeses emerging from jasper hill's new caves and we have celebrated the earliest and freshest greens from the vermont herb and salad company.. our customers seem happy (it's actually really impossible to tell from my perspective) and we are all learning so much.

stefi has rejoined us, meagan and kelly have become trully exceptional, sara grace and alexis hurley in the kitchen have helped to fine tune somethings as well as lightened us with their vocal charms --and us--well we are still here everyday and honestly falling more and more in love with this process..

a recent talk with basil reminded me that love and intesity are not the same thing..

honor each equally and and watch the seasons go by...............

by the way---our pistou at the moment is amazing!

its spring..?? again..

spring

do you know the joy of dandelion?
i do..
jaded leaves-jagged and bitter--- ready to make my winter liver glow... yellow blossoms-promising fine fall wine- tempting children with the "pick me pick me" blossom of the first steady blossom..
i know spring.
i long for it all winter long
i was born in its quaking song.
i know wild leeks.
i know spring eggs.
i know easter
champagne
hunts
babbling brooks..
i know mothers day.
i know what it means to ask for something
and get it.
and here i am in vermont
loving
really loving vermont
and still pining for other places.
but i am here because it is spring
and i know two or three months of summer will follow
and it is my desire
and my challenge
to celebrate those who celebrate
these next two months with me..
broccoli in the green house..
cauliflower on the rise.
radishes and spinach all summer.
kale beyond disguise.


and love
where is love?
it is in the air we all know.
wedding bells
showers
and babies being born..
and homes built
and summer vacation before first grade
and tomatoes from the garden
and swimming,,,,,......................................................
where is love?
in the micro basil..
in the raspberry patch..
in the walk after midnight
in the heart
of it all..

thinking about spring? us too..

i miss how the air feels on my skin- seems like i'm covered in multiple layers all the time now.. i miss green leaves and fresh local braising mix.. i miss long sunny afternoons and swimming.. i miss summer, it's true- and though i appreciate that it is winter that makes me appreciate every fleeting moment of summer, i can't help but feel that longing pulling at me a little..
When Alanna and I decided to close Kismet for all of February, we did so thinking that we would use that time to take a little winter vacation. We've both been working over 50 hours a week at kismet since last year as well as single-parenting each of our two children, and taking care of life's little miss-haps.. We fantasized about puerto rico, mexico, callebra, new orleans, and long hours lying in bed reading those books we've heard about on the new york times best seller's list.. I thought that I would take care of my book tour- i initiated and booked radio interviews and made little tour plans in my head- But alas, as the harsh reality of another vermont winter continues to deplete and demand all of our energy and attention, it feels like all we can do just to get our car out of the driveway and feed our children something other than miso soup and dumplings..

Oh summer-- find me now. i crave your fire and creative sparks- i want to walk the streets during your 9 pm sunset, and know that if i choose to drive your long open highways i can do so without fear of an ice or snowstorm.. I want to use the $200 a month i spend on heat to go towards something fantastic and long lasting- a trip to the beach, or towards a summer home in the baja of california....
I have a feeling that a lot of people in this town feel the same way right now-- we all are enduring winter, because we're vermonters, and that's what we do- we stay inside for days at a time, we look deeply at ourselves, our homes, our health, our secret desires for ourselves as individuals. And we fantasize about how after this winter, after we are rejuvenated by this coming spring, we will enjoy the coming summer more furtively than the last, and we will sort it all out

so that next year,

next year it will be easier (and maybe we will plan a little better too and take that darn trip to callebra..) .
Don't get me wrong, i appreciate months of meat and root vegetables.. I like cozy afternoons by the fire and how quiet the world is after fresh snow- i love going to bed early, watching movies, and the warmth of friends as we gather for meals. I love it when every branch of the trees are covered with ice or snow- i love the feeling i get when i open a jar of locally made preserves or pickles in the coldest months, and i so fully appreciate that every potato, beet, carrot, onion, and garlic that i pull from the pantry was grown nearby in earth that i can almost smell, harvested by humble hardworking hands like mine, with the intention to maximize every moment of our momentary growing season so that we can sustain ourselves and each other all year long.. Can these beets and garlic be enough? As I ration them out and try find new and excited uses for rutabagas and carrots, can i use this time to appreciate the little things? Can i really know simplicity and love it? how simple is a winter in vermont though?
Tomorrow morning the photographer from the seven days will come to take photos of our food for next week's paper.. We are featured as an organic local foods eatery and continually talk about how dedicated we are to the local foods movement and seasonal heirloom recipes. We make crepes with local organic flours, we limit our fruit and vegetable selections to those locally grown, and use only local meet and cheeses that are hormone free.. and tomorrow at ten am i will make a crepe dish and a salad for him to photograph for the paper... now- at the moment we have 5 pounds of beautiful mesclun mix in our refrigerator that has been flown in from california.. the last week has been particularly warm (for montpelier) and so we've sold lots of it.. everyone wants salad.. and the closest we can source it from is california... Now when the photographer said "make a salad" did he mean leafy california greens? or should i make something more season and local- as our menu (our menu says "seasonal salad") and mission statement promises? Is he trying to test me? Are we being set up? Honestly, the most photogenic of our salads is mesclun greens, vermont chevre, grated beets and carrots, slices of local apples, toasted sunflower seeds and sprinklings of organic pomegranate... hardly local really ... what if i made it with just the local ingredients? (apple, beets, carrots, chevre, grated cabbage, apple cider vinegar, maple syrup, maine sea salt...)
Winter is full of hard choices like this i suppose.. and more..